I’m going to talk to you about overwhelm and exactly how a lot of my clients have dealt with it in the past, but also how, I have dealt with it from my civilian life and military career.
One thing I see commonly with my clients is that, they’re usually mothers, they usually have careers to nurture, they have households to look after, and they have a lot of responsibilities. When I ask them, “are you okay” just in a passing, normal conversation, they reply with, “yes, I’m fine”
The trouble is this is a facade
Behind the scenes they are juggling a million different things, they’ve got children to look after, they’ve got a career, they have a household, they have a husband, partners, all these sorts of things and generally there’s a lot of complexity there to their life.
Now, what we need to look at there is, what exactly is the source of the overwhelm?
Because when you’re in such a fine balance of tasks, it’s very easy for one little slip up to really throw a spanner in the works.
We could have and every day relationship argument but that one thing, which wouldn’t usually throw things off, has now just escalated tenfold. All because of this juggling act that’s going on in the background.
Overwhelm is something which is very, very real and definitely something which people need to learn to deal with.
It’s a clear source for things such as, anxiety and depression along various other mental health conditions.
It’s very important to be able to identify these things, and say okay, well here is the source of that overwhelm.
How can we manage overwhelm?
Now, to manage overwhelm, you need to be able to identify it. Overwhelm doesn’t come from daily tasks. It doesn’t come from trying to get in shape and cleaning your house.
It comes from , a lot of different sources and things which stress you out.
For some people, simply having to do tasks which they feel they don’t need to do, or shouldn’t need to do, because other people should do them. Is enough to make them feel overwhelmed.
The husband should be able to make the bed in the morning rather than you having to do everything. The children should be old enough now, potentially, to clean their room. Rather than you having to do everything.
You see, these are the simple things which may seem very trivial, but to the people who are overwhelmed, they are a huge deal.
Now we’ve identified it, now we need to actually address that.
Addressing things is hard, but it needs to be done head on. There’s no point in beating around the bush with these things because, you do need to look after yourself before you can look after anyone else effectively. Not being direct enough can be the thing which postpones your own welfare.
We know that other people re the source of this overwhelm and we have a choice, either remove them or get them to change.
Now unless you’re willing to sell your children, removing won’t work.
Often simply saying, “look, can you help me with this? I’m trying to better my health, I’m trying to look after things. I’m in a bit of a bad place here. I want some support”.
Just simply saying them things, simply being open is a very powerful action, and usually that individual will come on board easily.
There are many ways to handle overwhelm and no doubt over time I will elaborate on them.
The one things overwhelm instantly disrupts is your sleep quality and quantity. One of the most effective ways to to handle this is what we call a brain dump.
That is basically a skill which, before you sleep or through out your day at various intervals, maybe lunchtime, you would literally get a notepad and pen out, and you would dot every single thing down, which you need to do.
Every single task, which you do ,on this piece of paper, so that you can address it at a later date.
Then we have something called an “Eisenhower Method”, which is super effective.
It bases everything off a chart of importance and urgency. It then goes on further to break it down into four categories, do it now, do it later, delegate it or delete it.
We should just look at that and go, okay, well, delegate that, do this, do this later, and just get rid of that.
Most of the time the tasks on our to-do list, are our own bullsh*t. We’re just filling our to-do list with just stuff because, we’re so used to having, a to-do list that’s just rammed.
We need to delete and delegate where necessary, which will allow ourselves to look after our own health, and allow ourselves to have a better quality of life, and therefore we find it easier to get in shape and have better health.
Every career driven woman and mother I’ve ever worked with, has been overwhelmed in some way, shape or form and often it just takes a bit of support.
You have to remember ,these women as who work with me, they’re not happy with how they look. They want to change that and they want to change their health.
Naturally ,when there’s an environment which is very chaotic, a lot of juggling going on, we need to look at that and ask how can this individual focus and get this fitness thing done.
That’s why sometimes just having a conversation with somebody, as an extra set of eyes on a lifestyle can help.
If there’s any coaches who are reading this then, definitely use those skills that you have. Learn to work with people, because when you learn to work with people, you’re gonna look away from the macros and training.
You’re gonna start to genuinely consider, the individual in front of you and learn what matters more to them, the priorities they have, but also how to help them manage that.
For any lady just popping in. By simply, addressing your lifestyle and by being able to look at things very objectively and saying, okay, well, that needs deleting, that needs delegating, and I have to do it now, do it later etc.
That very much empowers you to be able to actively move things forward.
We can look at the four pillars, which we always talk about: health, career, personal development and relationships.
When we look at those four pillars, we see that if one of them is being dragged back, then you have three which can’t move forward. Very much like a car. If there’s one flat tire, the other three will be dragged back because of it.
Overwhelm. Let’s address that straight away, and I can guarantee you lifestyle gets a lot better, your quality life improves, and the results which you get from the gym, and your health, will improve tenfold.
We can look at the science stuff in regards to, parasympathetic states and sympathetic states, fat oxidation rates, and the ability to actually manage intensive training, intensive exercise, energy levels and all that sort of stuff.
By doing this, by managing overwhelm and managing stresses, we will be better placed in a positive nervous system state.
Allowing our body to oxidize fat better, recover better, have more energy, better libido, better sleep quality and better digestion quality.
Overwhelm, treat it as a very real thing and address it head when it starts to arise.